Python fans and how to deal with trolls

[progdirjim]

So, thanks to VAXMan's expertise, we have recently eliminated "marillionfreak" from the Aural Moon community. If you missed his rants, trust me, it was not just deserved, but overdue. However, in shout this evening, the idea came up to NOT ban idiots of this ilk, but to write a script that will substitute a Monty Python quote every time said idiot shouts. *I* personally find this way funnier, so here we go: what are your favorite Python quotes?

Is this the right thread for an argument? (and please do NOT play that skit out in the thread :D )

[NorCalKurt]

"Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person." Let the quotes begin. :D

[emperorken]

"Tis but a scratch" said the black knight after his arms were cut off. From MP and the Holy Grail.

[Yesspaz]

Some favs:

"I fart in your general direction."
"I blow my nose at thee!"
"Your mother was a hampster, and your father smelled of elderberries."
"A duck!"
"O Merciful Lord, use this, Thine Holy Hand Grenade, to blow Thine enemies to bits, in Thy mercy."
"This is an ex-parrot!"
"I warn you, it's quite runny!"

[Laudio9]

a few more;

“We are no longer the knights who say ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!”

“Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean?”

“-She turned me into a newt!
-A newt?
-I got better...”

“Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed!”

“And now for something completely different.”

“Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition!”

“He's not the Messiah - he's a very naughty boy.”

"Brian: Excuse me. Are you the Judean People's Front?
Reg: Fuck off! We're the People's Front of Judea."

[VAXman]

"My hovercraft is full of eels."

[KenSchwartz]

No no no, it's spelled, "Raymond Luxury Yacht," but it's pronounced, "Throat Warbler Mangrove"

[moonweed]

So, thanks to VAXMan's expertise, we have recently eliminated "marillionfreak" from the Aural Moon community. If you missed his rants, trust me, it was not just deserved, but overdue. However, in shout this evening, the idea came up to NOT ban idiots of this ilk, but to write a script that will substitute a Monty Python quote every time said idiot shouts. *I* personally find this way funnier, so here we go: what are your favorite Python quotes?

Is this the right thread for an argument? (and please do NOT play that skit out in the thread :D )

"Every sperm is sacred!"

[TheFish]

My nipples explode in the light.

-What's on the telly?
-Looks like a penguin

[tobytanzer]

Have you any cheddar?

[KenSchwartz]

from eric the half a bee: "Cyril Connelly?"

[tobytanzer]

"My theory, which belongs to me, is mine. All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much, much thicker in the middle, and then thin again at the far end."

[PeterG]

In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?

I don't want to go on the cart!

We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week,...

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

...

[tobytanzer]

"an argument is an intellectual process, while contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says."


no it isn't

[julieval]

No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.

Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"...

[Yesspaz]

"I'm not dead yet."

[NorCalKurt]

“Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!”

[OverHillandDale]

And now for something completely different.

The Larch.

[KenSchwartz]

well, someone has to offer this classic: "IT'S!"

[thegooze]

The whole Spam Spam Spam & more Spam skit seems like the most appropriate.

[cumquott]

"Note the huge-breasted typist in the background..."

And remember when Opera did this to Microsoft?

http://www.opera.com/press/releases/2003/02/14/

There may be an archive somewhere - it's hilarious.

[JamForte]

"VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

[TheFish]

Says it all.8-) :LOL:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGRPFUYUUdQ

[VAXman]

Says it all.8-) :LOL:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGRPFUYUUdQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czjynTjCDcY

[KeithieW]

I'm with The Gooze on that one.

[Diff_Drummer]

I spent two hours today burying a cat. He didn't want to stay in the hole!

[tongle]

Damnn - all my favourites already taken.....so how about;

'Penny for an ex-lepper?'

'Only the true messiah would deny that he is the messiah'

'What have the Romans ever done for us......?'

'...and if you tell kids of today that..they won't believe you' (Four Yorkshire men Sketch)

'The Norwegian Blue prefers kipping on it's back'

'If you hadn't nailed it to the perch it'd be pushing up the daisys'

'It's scientific experiments for the lot of you'

'Badger spleen, otter's noses, wolf nipple chips...get 'em while they're hot!!'


(I'd better stop now - but actually one of my all time favourite bits is Spike Milligan's cameo in Life of Brian)

[artw]

"The tenants arrive in the entrance hall here, and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort and past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh slurps into these... "

and when they shut him down:

"Yes, well, of course, this is just the sort blinkered philistine pig ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome, spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker's cuss about the struggling artist. (shouting) You excrement! You lousy hypocritical whining toadies with your lousy colour TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs and your bleeding masonic handshakes! You wouldn't let me join, would you, you blackballing bastards. Well I wouldn't become a freemason now if you went down on your lousy, stinking, purulent knees and begged me. "

[artw]

"Pointed sticks? Ho, ho, ho. We want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh? Well I'll tell you something my lad. When you're walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me!"

[kentwelve]

"Intercourse the Penguin!"